Saturday, March 04, 2006

McCartney Attacked by Baby Seal

Feeling threatened by the terrifying sight of ex-Beatle Sir Paul McCartney and wife, a baby harp seal defends itself. Obviously it's heard "Chaos and Creation in the Backyard".

McCartney and company have joined our annual East Coast circus protesting the seal hunt. This has become a celebrity tradition and dates back to the days of Brigitte Bardot, noted seal pup kisser and attention whore. This recent episode has been amusingly blogged by Red Tory.

The ritual is repeated late winter every year: showbiz luminaries with sagging careers fly in via helicopter, roll around the ice near nursing seals, then photo-op, click, fly out and hold a press conference, or, in McCartney's case, appear on CNN's Larry King Live. I suspect the seal protest industry supports what is now becoming a way of life for many residents of our Atlantic provinces.

My alter ego lives almost exclusively on seal meat, and boiled seal is a common lunchtime meal in our town. Fresh raw seal liver is a delicacy. But I must confess I find the taste revolting - very fishy with a consistency of beef liver. But the kids love it, and anything that replaces french fries and burgers in their daily diet certainly gets my Seal (sorry) of Approval.

The difference here is that our seal hunt is an on-going affair, and is most successful during the summer on the water with a high-powered rifle. And, for those already beginning to weep for the seals, I can report that all shots are head shots (the head is the only thing above the water) so the seal crosses over to that big ice floe in the sky instantly.

Actually, a friend of mine pulled a seal he had shot into his 24 foot canoe, unaware that he had only concussed it by the impact of the bullet on the water beside the seal's ear. On his way back to town the seal woke up, bit him and started chasing him around the canoe. Unable to shoot it (thereby putting a hole in the canoe), he eventually grabbed it by the rear flippers and flung in back into the sea.


Blogger Belle said...

Okay please tell me you're kidding about hunting and eating seal.

10:58 AM  
Blogger nanuk said...

Sorry - seal meat is a staple up here. The town pays people to go hunting and distributes the meat and fish for free. Otherwise families would go hungry because of the high cost of food in the Arctic.

I don't hunt, and the only game I'll eat regularly is caribou meat, which is not only milder than beef, but has zero fat of any discription.

So there's a lot of hunting up here: just don't send up Dick Cheney, please.

12:06 PM  
Blogger Belle said...

Well you can eat whale blubber for all I care, but I thought it was illegal to hunt those seals?!

5:29 PM  
Blogger nanuk said...

Inuit, having lived here for over 10,000 years, have an "unalienable right" to hunt under law.

And thanks for the whale blubber idea - I'm running short on topics.

5:36 PM  

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