Friday, March 10, 2006

Lebso Sluts

Since I started this blog thing exactly a month ago I've been very regularly checking my Site Meter for traffic reports and my Comments for, well . . . comments. I don't think I'm being vain in doing this, I just want to know if anyone appreciates my little keyboard pokings.

So imagine my elation, my absolute rapturous delight when checking out a referring link I found out that the humble WHITE BEAR'S BLOG was the NUMBER ONE Google citation for "obsessive maturbation". Out of 2,330 fucking other entries! My heart swelled with pride, and my ego glowed white hot the fuel of adoration.

On second thought, I thought "Well, it is rather a peculiar audience, but what the hell - it's a start. And if my writings induce manic onanistic episodes for some individuals, so be it". I even imagined 2,330 (female) readers glued to the screen, amusing themselves by abusing themselves reading all about chemical toilets and demented alcohol by-laws.

But then I looked more closely, and my heart fell. Sure, I was still number one, but for people querying "obsessive maturbation" - sans s - not "obsessive masturbation". I must admit I felt crushed.

But they don't keep a good bear down for long, and I'm now setting off on a new marketing path: deliberate misspellings. I mean, why loose yourself among the 364,000 entries for LUSCIOUS LOLITAS when you only have to elbow a meagre 38 others out of the way to have the top entry for LUSCIOUS LOTILAS? There are only 700-odd listings for KUBAKKE. And CREAM IPE is ripe for take-over.

Any more idaes?

3 Comments:

Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

Drooling Bevars?

8:37 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

How about hangover curees?

Speaking of which, do you have any idea what possessed me to think I knew you from high school?

9:16 AM  
Blogger nanuk said...

Anna: the only surefire hangover cure I know is unplugging from life and sleeping it off. Vis a vis high school: maybe from the Philately Club? Did you ever play post office in high school?

Phosgene Kid: Reminds me of Primus: got a cyclone fence handy?

12:52 PM  

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