Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Steamy Simian Sex

The Darwin contraversy in the doltish little hamlet of Salluit is about to get restirred by yours truly.

Last week Salluit made headlines internationally by its outright banning of the theory of evolution in its high school curriculum, outdoing even the most insanely radical of court challenges in the United States which only sought to have creationism or intelligent design given equal billing with natural selection in American high schools.

By happy coincidence, and with a little help from my Uncle Terry, I came across this article speculating that humans and chimpanzees continued to have sex with each other for a million years after their evolutionary split.

[As a sidebar, I must voice my objection over the wording of this article's title: Men Mated with Chimps for 1M Years - it begs the question of who/what women were screwing over this period of time. Either that, or our ancestral females must have been really ugly compared to our simian relatives.]

So not only is Darwinism guilty of heresy by maintaining our descent from other primates, but this recent evidence suggests our Adam, and probably Eve, were into bestiality big time. This notion, once I circulate it here in Salluit, is certain to cause all sorts of mayhem, but what the hell - I've only been back from the south for two days and I'm already getting bored.

I am also requesting the Kinks' Apeman on the local FM station. Not that the lyrics would be understood, but I'd get a certain smug satisfaction from just doing it.


Blogger Fuff said...

Hee hee. Blimey Nanuk! Did you get my email btw?

5:44 AM  
Blogger nanuk said...

Fuff: Yes I did - I will attempt an upload tonight.

6:48 AM  
Blogger merlinprincesse said...

BAD NANUK!!!!! Mwhahahahahaha!

10:36 AM  
Blogger fairscape said...

It only stands to reason that the first human mutation from chimp had to be some over sexed male hell bent on spreading his seed around.If it had been a female she would have crossed her legs and rolled her eyes at any monkey business thereby ending the human race before it got started. What do you think?

1:34 PM  
Blogger nanuk said...

MerlinPrincesse: It's good to be bad sometimes, n'est-ce pas?

Fairscape: Great comment, LOL! But don't you find it stange that a mastiff could breed with a chihuahua? Yet homo sapiens can only breed with homo sapiens, successfully, that is.

2:49 PM  
Blogger nanuk said...

Fairscape: stRange - my bad.

2:49 PM  
Blogger Sarah Letnes said...

I knew the entire human race wasn't born out of incest committed by Adam and Eve's children. That's just super.

3:39 PM  
Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

From what I have seen at some bars, after folks have donned the extra thick beer goggles, there is still mating with chimps going on. I think that is where NASCAR fans come from.

I hear the Kennedys can trace their line directly back to Bonzo, the Chimp in the Ronny Regan movies.

5:42 PM  
Blogger nanuk said...

Sarah Letnes: LOL. I'm glad your fears of genetic inbreeding have been put to rest.

TPK: Been there . . . HAVE NOT done that. Any port in a storm is not the way I do business. But, looking at the offspring of the Kennedys, and any royal family in Europe, I would be prone to agree with you.

6:04 PM  
Blogger Annie Drogynous said...

I'm sick just thinking that apes and humans had sex with each other. Um, ew?!?

6:08 PM  
Blogger Eternally Curious said...

Hahaha ... and all this time I was certain apes had intelligence!!! Oooooppppsss ... did I just say that out loud?

7:51 PM  
Blogger nanuk said...

Blair Bitch: I bet you're just sick - envy, maybe?

Eternally Curious: I read you loud and clear.

9:40 PM  
Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

It'd explain all that hair on her back...

2:47 PM  
Blogger marty said...

Thanks to your post Nanuk, I am going to be extra careful w/this online dating thing

10:51 PM  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

Marty - Be more than careful, sweetie. Be totally paranoid. There's wackos out there. Trust me on this one.

11:05 PM  
Blogger amaruk-nanuk said...

Nanuk where have u gone? Your daily input hasn't been the same lately? Did you make it back to monkey town/ dry town yet?
Heres a question if Adam and Eve were made by god and in the bible it tells us incest is bad but here is the question when adam and eve had kids, how did their kids have kids? if it is with each other ain't that called incest? Whats your input on this?
Talk to ya ltr.

7:56 AM  
Blogger DutchBitch said...

F... you and the chimp theory, Fab and his lemurs! What is the world coming to?

7:59 AM  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

I'm not sure how Nanuk feels about this, but a friend of mine is fond of saying, "Those who think the Bible should be understood literally ought not to be reading a book meant for grown ups."

10:34 AM  
Blogger Tea and Books, etc said...

Oh, you are a weevil, weevil bear, Nanuk! lol

2:20 AM  
Blogger mummified said...

Please tell me you are joking about the change to the school curriculum with the theory of evolution being nixed. If not, I reckon home schooling is going to take off big time with folks there who want their kids to actually get an education versus being immersed in religious demagogy

6:20 AM  
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