You Can Change Your Colours. . .

. . .But You Cannot Change Your Stench


Well, well, well. It appears our Prime Minister Stephen Harper has recently attempted to paint himself green (more likely gangrene) after he surmised from recent public opinion polls that the environment is the number one Canadian political issue by far, outstripping our usual hot button issues like health care, maple syrup surtaxes, and the state subsidy on curling stones.

This is from a man who, as one of his first actions as a prime minister early last year, abrogated Canada's approval of the Kyoto Accord. The opposition Liberal Party recently posted a revealing letter from Harper to his fellow pseudo-fascist Canadian Alliance Party members that, and I quote, "Kyoto is essentially a socialist scheme to suck money out of wealth-producing nations". And this in a fundraising letter published in 2002.

Now I haven't heard the term socialist being used in a fear-mongering context since, well, McCarthy (not that I remember more than the taste of my baby bottle's nipple from that time). Ask anyone nowadays what a socialist is and they will probably confuse it with socialite. So we can get an impression of the superannuated, knee-jerk, rye-swigging, good old boys in the Alberta oil patch that our now fuhrer is appealing to.

Another telling statement in said missive is "(Kyoto) focuses on carbon dioxide, which is essential to life, rather than upon pollutants". (Note to Harper: anything can be harmful to life on earth if it exceeds certain levels).

Politicians by their very nature are opportunistic beasts. But this supposed sea change in Harper's environmental philosophy won't fool even the most naive and credulous individual among us.

When I was younger, we used to use our extend index and little fingers to express "bullshit" without having to actually say the words within earshot of our parents, which inevitably would lead to a mouthsoaping or carbon dioxide enema.

But in these modern times, this gesture has been co-opted by Texas Longhorn fans, metal heads, Satanists and the like, so I cannot invoke it without the risk of being misconstrued. No alternative except to rake together two year's worth of huskie droppings and mail them to the Prime Minister's Office - what the fuck, no stamps necessary.

My take on the global warming issue will be posted on Friday.