Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Farewell to the Northwest Passage



We Canadians pride ourselves for living in the "True North Strong and Free", although most of us live within 100 kms of the American border and only a very small percentage have ever been north of the tree line. But we'll be damned if we are going to let any other country take a maritime short cut across our arctic archipelago without our permission.

The recently-elected Conservative government has come up with a brilliant strategy to protect our arctic sovereignty. Feeling that the name "Northwest Passage" was too international in connotation, they have now renamed the waterway, hold on to your hats, the Canadian Internal Waters. This sounds more like a bladder than a commercial seaway.

With global warming affecting arctic ice in a big way, the virtually unnavigatable Northwest Passage may become ice-free during the summer as early as 2015.

Beginning with Martin Frobisher in the 16th century, the idea of being able to sail through the Canadian Arctic to connect Europe with the Orient was an obsession which frustrated the attempts of all who attempted to find this fabled waterway, and claimed the lives of more than a few foolhardy explorers.

In 1904, Norwegian Roald Rasmussen finally was finally able to sail from the Atlantic through to the Alaskan Coast of the Pacific, taking three years to complete the journey. And it was not until 1944 when an RCMP schooner, the St. Roch, managed to sail the Northwest Passage in less than a year. But now this east/west route is seeing renewed interest.

While other nations protect their domestic territoriality with military bases and government-established communities, we Canadians protect our national interests with a pen and a gazeteer.

I believe the next step in scaring away foreign multinationals and governments envious of our natural resources is to rename our country the Uninviting Land with No Commercial Potential Whatsoever.

10 Comments:

Blogger Tea and Books, etc said...

Well, you see, global warming is really a myth, Nanuk, so the difficulties in attempting to navigate through the Northwest Passage (the other name sounds plain yuck) will never decrease.

On the other hand, the planet is going to go down in one big nuclear blast, so this will all be moot anyway.

1:15 PM  
Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

You think they'd be a bit more alarmed about the formation of a North West passage or Bladder Canal or whatever they want to call it. Has anyone considered the ramifications on the coastal areas and climate of Canada when that stretch becomes open water? Way to roll over and say "We might as well put a pretty face on it".

Next thing you'll have illegal Mexicans marching through your streets!!

3:16 PM  
Blogger nanuk said...

T&B,etc. - feeling a bit down in the dumps today, are we? But I agree, the ice free season will be so short (if it happens at all) that the northern east/west route will make no economic sense.

TPK - I've always said that what this town needs is a good donkey show.

6:57 PM  
Blogger Fuff said...

I like this blog. The comments always make me happy.

7:07 PM  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

"... Conservative Government... " and "... brilliant strategy... " do not belong in the same sentence. You win the prize for Best Ozymoron of All Time.

10:20 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Moot point. Everything is gonna change when we annex you guys. Don't get too comfortable.

5:29 AM  
Blogger nanuk said...

fuff: thanks muchly.

WoD: hmmm .... ozymoron .... a figure of speech popularized by Ozzie Osbourne?

Fab: Judging by the number of Canadians already in Florida, I think it is you who must worry. Does the phrase "sleeper cell" mean anything to you?

7:27 AM  
Anonymous Nunya said...

LOL! That last response to Fab was great!

Don't ever watch "The Day After Tomorrow". Scared the shit outta' me! Oh and BTW, something HUGE is predicted to happen by 2012 that is supposed to bring us back to "simpler times".

9:11 AM  
Blogger Eternally Curious said...

Nunya: That "something huge" would be the obliteration of all politicians worldwide - I believe (hope?).

6:51 PM  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

Tee hee! Good typo, huh?

Ozymoron. That would be Ozzy's phylum classification, I believe.

11:54 AM  

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