Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Non Compos Mentis

Canadian jurisprudence has just hit an all time low.
One of the most notorious drunk drivers in the Ottawa area has been found not criminally responsible on his latest impaired driving charges because of a mental disorder that makes him believe female celebrities are controlling his actions.
Seems the judge bought into his story that Shania Twain lives in his cranium and tells him what to do, so he is not to blame for driving whilst drunk, despite the fact that he killed a woman and her child while DUI a decade ago.

This trumps my usual legal defense - not guilty by reason of lycanthropy - which no judge has yet deemed worthy of being an acceptable explanation for my criminal malfeasances.

Which female celebrities control your actions, criminal or otherwise?

9 Comments:

Blogger Belle said...

I guess if he's not guilty, then the person that hunts him down and shoots his sorry ass for killing that poor mother and child shouldn't be found guilty, either!

Better watch out, Nanuk! Seems that Pamela Anderson has joined the list of celebs that is protesting seal hunting out in your neck of the woods!

10:49 AM  
Blogger nanuk said...

Belle: I was following the Pamela Anderson story last night on Fark. Even though she's from Vancouver, she is about as welcome here in the debate as a pig at a bris.

12:37 PM  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

Isn't that a freakin' incredible story? He's either guilty as sin or barking mad and should be locked up either way.

At least, that's what Oprah told me. In special code. That only she and I understand.

12:59 PM  
Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

There have been several young nude actresses that have contolled my mind, at least for about ten minutes...

6:35 PM  
Blogger nanuk said...

WoD: That Oprah bit's really good.

TPK: Which mind are you referring to?

7:10 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Minnie Pearl controls whether or nor I have an erection.

8:15 PM  
Blogger nanuk said...

Mr. Fabulous - now there's an image! If I say "Howdy", do you get hard à la Pavlov's dog?

8:24 AM  
Blogger Tea and Books, etc said...

Paris Hilton controls my every thought, intention and action.

Rationale: If someone so obviously empty upstairs can become a celebrity, then the possibilities for me are infinite. Thus, I might as well emulate her. Heck, I am her!

*going into seizures*

3:11 PM  
Blogger Belle said...

LMAO at Fab! Ew.

Nanuk, pig at a bris...priceless.

5:09 AM  

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